Academic Beards

Dr. David Hyrenbach

Scientific name: Hyrenbachia daveediosus PhD

Where does Dr David live?
Dr. David lives in Greenlake, slightly north of down-town Seattle. In the summertime he migrates down to central California to rendezvous with black-footed albatross. During the school year he forages around the University of Washington.

http://www.polartrec.com/node/892

Photo from D. Hyrenbach

By Bruce Johnston in Rome Published: 12:01AM GMT 01 Feb 2002
A 66-YEAR-OLD law professor suspected of obtaining sexual favours female students in return for top marks, was hailed as a hero yesterday.

One newspaper described Prof Ezio Capizzano, a commercial law lecturer at the University of Camerino, as "Italy's answer to Sean Connery" after he defended himself by saying he only had sex with those who consented.

He lost his job at the 14th century university yesterday because of the scandal, which erupted when videos of his exploits were sent to the police. One student told La Rebubblica newspaper: "The first thing I learnt when I got to Camerino was that you didn't have to worry about your exams if you were pretty."

The investigation began last month after pornographic videos were stolen from his office. The videos, filmed with a camera hidden under the desk in his faculty office, featured the bearded professor having sex with women students on the rug.

When interrogated, Prof Capizzano calmly admitted the encounters, pointing out that they had all been consensual, and the "fruit of love". Several women told police that instead of feeling "obligated" to have sex, they had done so willingly, such was the professor's appeal.

Prof Capizzano's antics were hailed in the newspaper Corriere della Sera, where an article praised him as "Italy's answer to Sean Connery". Alberto Bevilacqua, a 68-year-old best-selling Italian author of romantic novels, wrote in the newspaper: "Capizzano stands to become the new guru of pensioned Italian males.

"Up until now, the idol of the over-60s, and not only them, has been Sean Connery. But Connery has the added attraction of being a film star. Instead, Capizzano, a sexual trapeze artist, has only himself to thank for his acrobatics."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/1383466/Italian-professor-gets-top-marks-for-his-sex-lessons-with-students.html

A Spanish university professor with a long beard and dark complexion said Thursday he was briefly forced off an airliner during a layover on the Spanish island of Mallorca by passengers who feared he was an Islamic terrorist. Pablo Gutierrez Vega told The Associated Press that he was humiliated when three German passengers on an Air Berlin flight approached him during a layover in Palma de Mallorca on Aug. 30 en route from Seville, Spain, to Dortmund, Germany, and asked to search his carry-on luggage. The men told him that other passengers were frightened by his appearance, said Gutierrez Vega, a 35-year-old law professor at the University of Seville. "We can't take justice into our own hands," Gutierrez Vega told the Spanish daily el País, "unless we want to return to living in caves."

http://www.cbsnews.com

An option for the testosterone deprived.

Listen to the Academic Beards playlist by Academic Beards on MySpace Music.

Assoc Prof Peter Sheppard, University of Auckland

Prof Roger Horrocks, Emeritus Professor, University of Auckland

Greg Booth, Associate Professor of Ethnomusicology, University of Auckland

John Curran and Brian Pollard

One of us (BP) believes that beards, a natural state of affairs, signify wisdom. The other thinks that they are dirty, suiting woolly minded academics disinclined to arise for the morning ablutions. A controlled study was needed

Subjects, methods, and results

All 62 readily identifiable male professors, readers, and senior lecturers and 83 NHS consultants in anaesthesia unwittingly took part in a controlled study. The NHS group was randomly selected from a seated block at a recent anaesthetic scientific meeting, data being recorded on the back of its programme (2B blunt pencil). Academics' details were recorded into an electronic spreadsheet (Excel version 6 running on an IBM compatible PC with 120 MHz Pentium processor). Facial hair was defined as a recognisably maintained beard or moustache. Designer stubble was ignored, and data were compared with a chi-2 test with significance set at the 5% level.

Of the 62 academics, 21 (34%) wore beards or moustaches, compared with only five of the 83 (6%) NHS consultants (P<0.01; relative risk 5.62 (95% confidence interval 2.24 to 14.1)).

Comment

Against expectation, academic anaesthetists, who are old enough to secrete sufficient androgens to maintain a beard,(1) shave less than their colleagues in the NHS. Why?

Over 2000 years shaving habits have varied. Beards such as that worn by Van Dyke have eponymous status. Martial compared unshaven men to male goats, while Alexander led the Greeks and Scipio the Younger the Romans to shave daily - difficult without electric or modern safety razors. The coinage of many emperors and proconsuls depicts them bearded, and a young man's first shave of lanugo by the well paid tonsor was ceremomal - deposito barba.(2) St Clement of Alexandria thought shaving effeminate, and since the Council of Calcedon so required, clergy of the Orthodox, Church wear beards, often of magnificent size. Many teachers of Islam and Judaism are also bearded. Though the early Western Christian Church required clergy to shave Clerici barbam ne nutriant - the portraits of sixteenth century popes show them bearded, but in 1863 this innovation was discouraged and most Catholic secular clergy now shave.(3)

None of this resolves our disagreement. HP regards "Tarry at Jericho until your beards be grown"(4) as endorsement of the maturity of men who have beards. He thinks that it is absurd that the association between beards and academic status confirms their mutual undesirability. He believes a later levee for academics acceptable by efficient use of the remaining hours they work.

JC, hesitating to speculate on the theory that a beard hides a weak face, knows that research is assembled to confirm what is obvious. Only the ecclesiastical evidence and fear of divine retribution prevents him concluding that beards and academic status each prove the weakness of the other. He lays store by a seventeenth century proverb, reminiscent of Martial's view, "If the beard were all the goat might preach."(5)

We thank Father Peter Ingman, priest of the Catholic Diocese of Nottingham, and Father Denis Gill, Russian Orthodox Priest, for their help.

Funding: None.
Conflict of interest: HP, academic, has a moustache; JC, a shaver, is an NHS consultant.

References

1 Braun-Falco 0, Plewig 0, Wolff H H, Winkelmann R K. Dermatology. New York: Springer, 1991:757.

2 Carcopino J. Daily life in ancient Rome. Harmondsworth: Penguin, 1956. (Translated by E 0 Lorimer.)

3 Addis W; Arnold T. A Catholic dictionary. London: Virtue, 1954.

4 Holy Bible (King James version) 2 Samuel x, 5.

5 Browning D C. Dictionary of quotations and proverbs. Everyman edition. London: Dent, 1987.

Nottingham City Hospital,
Nottingham NG5 1PB
John Curran, consultant anaesthetist

Manchester Royal Infirmary,
Manchester M13 9WL
Brian Pollard, senior lecturer in anaesthesia

Correspondence to: Dr Curran.

Professor Richard Bradley, University of Reading

Professor Grenville Astill, University of Reading

Professor Rainer Cramer, University of Reading

Professor Ivan Dimov, University of Reading

Professor Mary Beard, University of Cambridge

A cross-sectional study of UK academics suggests Santa Claus might be a professor.

Frank Davey, Professor, University of Western Ontario

Professor Alan Somerset, University of Western Ontario

Professor Russell Poole, University of Western Ontario

Prof Richard Carter, Lancaster University

Duane Boning, Professor and Associate Head of the Department of Electrical Engineering and Computer Science, MIT

Professor Nigel Stallard, University of Warwick

Professor Steve Newstead, University of Plymouth

Professor Gerry Griffin, University of South Australia

Richard A. Falk, Albert G. Milbank Professor Emeritus of International Law, Princeton University

Paul Anthony Mellars, Professor of Prehistory and Human Evolution, University of Cambridge

Dr Brendan Burchell, University of Cambridge

Professor John Rust, University of Cambridge

Professor Ken Peach, Particle Therapy Cancer Research Institute

Professor John Geake, Oxford Brookes University

Professor Paul Trayhurn, University of Liverpool

Professor Walter Rosenthal, Max Delbrück Center

Professor Keith Beven, Lancaster University

Professor Glen Bramley, Heriot Watt University

Professor Greg Brooks B.A., M.A., PGCE, Ph.D., University of Sheffield

Labels: beard, Professor