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| 1. Emeritus Professor Peter Higgs will grow a beard. |
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| 2. Dr Karen H. Beard will find ecological significance in the bearded clam. |
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| 3. Professor Slavoj Žižek will discover Grecian 2000. |
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| 4. Young Beard of November 2012, Dr Alan Goddard, will enjoy his new appointment at the University of Lincoln. |
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| 5. Professor Arvind Krishna Mehrotra and Oxford Professor of Poetry Geoffrey Hill will finally get to fight it out in a poetry competition atop Mount Doom. |
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